gaps in my days, they are holes, glitches in space-time might explain it if nothing else does. i forget everything, spending so much time doing something which is nothing.
and - wait, what are you doing here? i don't care!. i am indifference. i am disinterest. i am cool, detached. passive. watch me. watch me, because i am also ridiculous, tired, and therefore irrational. this is all we have. this is sour milk, papercuts, cold dinner. missed oppourtiunity, forgetting your mother's birthday. this is everyone you've met who's name you can't remember. this is compelling in its callowness.
you know i fought, i tried but now i'll fade a bit.
advice for geraldine
to do:
-the same things we do all the time because in the daylight we do wonders.
-send you flowers because we can't forget each other.
-i have these delusions* that i could do better with you around.
-i want to need to spew breathtaking everything all over everyone. this will be a very long night.
__________
* delusion: an idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality or rational argument
i like them drunk: a three part composition
